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my new-ish computer (dual processor 1GhZ Mac G4, 1.2Gb RAM, two internal HDs, external HD, peripherals out the kazoo, yadda yadda yadda) started getting wobbly a few months after i brought it home. after an agonizing search for obvious hardware or software boojums, i finally concluded i had reached the point of last resort: complete system reinstall.

these words are enough to strike terror into most people who rely on magical boxes for their livelihood. i procrastinated for days, often sucking my thumb in the corner, rocking gently back and forth, before i summoned the courage to do it.

here, i recount the process of what was actually involved, if anything so that i can remember everything i did if i ever have to do it again <shiver>.

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"Yes! You too can be a brain surgeon, with the new Brain-O-Rama surgeon’s helper, a revolutionary new tool from the makers of the incredible Gung-Ho knife!! For just $49.45, you get the Brain-O-Rama scalpel, a rubberized dummy to learn your way around the skull, and complete instructions with helpful anatomical diagrams. You’ll be taking care of tumors in 30-days or less, or your money back!!!!!"

it seems like i’m being ridiculous. i am. and so are half the people trying to sell the latest [insert noun here] made easy products or books or tools or 12-day-tutorial-magic-or-your-money-back courses.

just because i know where your prefrontal cortex is, or because i’ve heard of broca’s area, you wouldn’t want me cutting into your brain with the best scalpel in the world. it wouldn’t make any difference, even if i had read the Dummies book and had seen "Extreme Autopsies" on FOX last week.

and yet people keep talking about making hard things easy, and others keep falling for it. books keep selling that demystify the mystical and show how, gosh, well, it turns out that brain surgery is easy after all, and we were just foolin’ ya so we could keep the money for ourselves (ha!).

i could make jokes all day long, but i believe this kind of behavior, and the thinking behind it, has consequences. it devalues the effort required to create things of value or utility, or to provide important services. in turn, it reduces the perceived value of the fruits of these labors. it cheapens the world and destroys our appreciation of people and the beauty they often create.Read More →

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exclamations of the general form, "look ma, no [insert noun here]" are invariably followed by disasters of one variety or another (e.g., broken limbs, scraped knees, poked out eyes, hindenburg-style vapor cloud explosions). they indicate a certain hubris on the part of the utterer, and mother nature is not one to let these sorts of things slip by unchecked.Read More →

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some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.

this piece of wisdom was passed on to me some time ago, and i’ve found it a useful mantra. it helps remind me about life’s little ups and downs.

for the past few days, it’s been technology that’s the dog, and i’ve been the hydrant. so i’m just gonna vent the old spleen a bit, and move on to smaller and better things.Read More →

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arcodology (n.): the black art of code examination and analysis, performed during software upgrades and/or web site refreshes. arcodologists sift through tangled code fragments, often (but not always) of unknown origin and authorship, in search of meaning, enlightenment, or any shred of code that can actually be re-used. See also frustration, laziness, and cruft.

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SPAMOUFLAGE AND SPAMJECTSso, let’s get the easy question out of the way first – why do so many spam messages have weird-yet-compelling subject lines? well, i can’t shed any light on why they’re compelling, but i can say what they’re trying to do…they’re trying to defeat best-of-breed, automated, anti-spam filters by disguising themselves as potentially interesting messages. those subject lines are "spamouflage." (i wish i could lay claim to this term – Wired beat me to it.) this probably comes as no surprise. some of you might even have said, ‘duh’ when you read the explanation above. the better question is, why do these subjectRead More →

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the following entry is a (sanitized and expanded) version of an email i recently sent to a client explaining some of the issues surrounding browser compatibility and web developement. it’s amazing these issues persist after years of slowly grinding towards a world of web standards…someday, i hope these ideas will seem quaint: "oh, how cute! they used to have to worry about those things…"

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